I’ll never be as ‘lax as this beat would probably think and have you, nor aggressive as they can tend to be, contrary to belief, its silence in the castle, the wine is piercing violet, eye-stab-slash you, I have run out of space for notions and mottos for exactly what to do, how I’m meant to move, but it’s all good, it’s cool It’s all temporary, another strike-down but rise-again in the Virgo moon life I live through, the non-sedentary move is ultimately the only solute, I just want to be respected with salutes, I love drama but I’m over most of what I started in the past due It has gotten me nowhere but disconnection and I’m regretful, I tell myself that whoever I’d be severed from because of it, I’d never work with in the first place even with a gun to my temple, I tell you something, making music with 5 monthly for 2 years was preferable, at least it was hardly stressful, now there’s just so much shit in the wake since that words can’t do justice to jot down the amount of how much it is dreadful There’s lies on my person I don’t know how to respond to, minor in GTA schemes but I’m paranoid the house that Tony built will crumble all because of one or two dudes who don’t know shit or even a puzzle of the truth, I’m still on the come up, it’s fragile shit, and everyone knows this too, I feel like someone is out to get me I can’t really say shit anymore with my once entire puffed-chest confidence of safety, but I’m not gonna be scared, why be scared when it’s most likely always baiting? It’s cause it’s hard to tell, everyone has run out of patience and I’m sure any willingness to hear me, they’d have to play Devil’s Advocate even when I’m decent, not the monster I’m scared they’re gonna try to paint me as, blown out of dishes proportion one-sided story situation I fear will be the end of this, I much prefer if we get it over with, call it how you see it already, I feel a sense of tensing and crescendoing, the quiet deafens all senses, I haven’t slept, spamming music, feeding the game the best it’s had since the prime I considered and once knew it But the fear is enough to stop the operation I perform at times, what can I say about chatting I overhear that doesn’t seem to be public? It looks like I’m tripping, you should hear what they mutter when the curtains are closed and any talk of my name you hear nor see is quiet and practically nothing, I don’t know what claims is being made beyond just now what I’ve aforementioned-ly overheard and have myself seen, but if you believe it’s enough and career-deathly to tell others to side-step me, come out publicly with what you’ve heard or have to say about me already, I need closure, it’s tearing me begging I’m rhyme-repeating myself, I’m in a block this has all created for me, but I mean it to the death of me, it’s not like it was clean to begin with, but my rep is being dirtied by the lying scum of this music thing and band kid fans for fiends saying all types of absurdities with no evidence, then my character is assessed on this, being absolute bullshit they heard by someone else with no backing, fuckin’ dastardly tired of this loop of all things, and then you don’t go into detail, I hate this generation of fucking spineless cowards who want you to take their word surface-level, it’s non-thinking without fail, I can’t help but be up all night and worry about how this will look on me, one sided thinkpiece that everyone I’m haggardly afraid will believe without saying or hearing a word to and from me This once I’m not going to let it slide, it’s more than street chatter, it’s attempts to subject me to unnecessary shunning built off absolutely and I do mean it when I say nothing, and to entertain the chance there’s something, there is no world where it isn’t exacerbated or inflamed to make me look scummy somehow but once taken to account, it still returns back to the dirt form of nothing, why even do this gossiping shit? People are miserable, that’s as good as a guess from me it’s gone get, it’s disheartening but I don’t need the approval of them, I’ll let you soak in your misery as long as you leave my shit out of it, I’d like to think this reactionary nonsense they’re pulling and saying is all some sort of optic performed out of a sorta projection, but much like how they don’t know me, I don’t know them, I think they’re planning to try to get me out of here, ‘tis my biggest fear, but I’ll die before that happens I’ll put a bullet in my face before I let them try to win and crush my love for this all that could get me to live lavish, for every single thing I create right here, right now, even ever, is forever more driven by passionate than anything they can ever even imagine or fathom, I hate that I’m being driven to this, but the tormenting fear of this all possibly fucking me over has me cold drenched in bed in tossing and turning spasms, not having a superficial view of everything is a blurse, as it gets me aware of whatever starts as a crumb that gets worse, still, I just want to close my eyes, ears, and just shut it all out, down, I really wish I didn’t care It’s just fucked up how they do kids trying to make a come up, you got grown men wishing I would and threatening to make me disappear, fuck all these oldtimers, I’m staying here until something bangs out and grazes me by a string of my hair, no matter how it is, there